How To Quarantine; Insider Tips from Rehab
There’s no question that no one has experienced this kind of day-to-day dystopian-like routine before. In simple terms, the world is whack right now and everyone and their great aunt are losing their sh*t. But among the panic, supermarket raids, and TP wars there have been amazing displays of humanity; “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” being sung from Italian rooftops, nightly rounds of applause for doctors and nurses in Spain, and this aquarium in Chicago that had to close so they let their penguins roam around to see the exhibits.
Another thing bringing everyone together? A new normal called self-quarantine, isolation, introverts-have-already-been-doing-this-for-years - we’re all living it. And to some people, this is a novel feat, “what to do for 2 weeks straight inside?!”.
The petty side of me can’t help but laugh at this (dark sense of humour okay it’s a coping mechanism), because isolation isn’t new. I couldn’t help but think that in a weird way the world was getting exposed to the kind of isolation/confinement that you would go through in the eating disorder ward at Homewood, or virtually any treatment center for a variety of physical or mental diseases.
Last night, I flew home from Spain on what was most likely the last possible day I could have left the country (I got out por los pelos, as my Spanish host-mom said). Everyone who’s come in from international destinations has to be in quarantine for 14 days. Initial reaction? Well fuck. And then I realized, “wait, I’ve done this before, for four months. Rehab you are coming in CLUTCH.”
Yes, I’m not trying to compare my stint in rehab to a global pandemic, I have an ego but I’m not Kayne. It just so happens that both of these situations end up with isolation, an inability to leave the house, and aggressive amounts of spare time. Straight from the Guelph, here are some tips on how to stay sane for the next two weeks.
Okay so first up, you already have a leg up on this whole isolation situation - you don’t have to wait for the nurses to tell you when you can use the bathroom, you can shower without people thinking your sneaking in a workout, you don’t have to go to group therapy sessions, you don’t have all your usual coping mechanisms thrown away from you, and you aren’t forced to be faced with your biggest fears (mealtime, wahoo!) three times a day. And perhaps the most important, you’re allowed to have alcohol. Bless.
People will start suggesting hobbies you can take up, the difference is that now the people suggesting said hobbies are also stuck in isolation too. In my experience, knitting is always suggested, and now instead of losing it (“I don’t CARE about my pearl stitch Karen”), you can ask them how they would feel knitting for three hours straight. The outcome? A PLETHORA of hobbies that are more exciting to draw from over the two weeks. Most people haven’t had to think about that yet, don’t fret, I got you. Here’s a starter list of possible activities/hobbies to take up.
Your basics;
Drawing; if you’re uncreative like me, go on Pinterest and look up different photos/illustrations that you like and try to draw your own version of it.
Meditate; you can actually use the meditation app you downloaded three months ago but haven’t touched.
Reading; give yourself a daily goal (ie. read one chapter, read for one hour, read a sentence - whatever) so you feel like you accomplished something each day. If you and your friends all have the same book - BOOK CLUB IT UP! Online, of course. Video chat the group when you’re all done to spill the literary tea from the comfort of your own reading nook.
Knitting; okay stay with me. It’s something that keeps your hands busy and makes the day (okay, hour) go by surprisingly quickly. It’s also weirdly relaxing to knit while you watch TV.
TV/Movies; *Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada voice* Watch a series? For a lockdown? Ground-breaking.
Miscellaneous things no one really needs to do (but you have the time so...)
Wiki races (ex. You start on the page for 2017 reprise of Blade Runner 2047 and using only links on that wiki page you have to be the first to get to the wiki page for stoic philosophy), works best with two or more people otherwise your just playing against yourself and that’s sad.
Learn how to do a handstand (disclaimer: I’m not liable for your medical bills).
Get ordained as a minister.
Take a free class online; forget resume booster, the real victory is getting the tea on European Music in the Romantic Period.
Your hey-I’m-not-in-rehab so I can do these things options;
Go on Youtube and take a free yoga class (other options include Zumba, dance tutorials, how to craft your own rocking chair etc.)
Turn any board/card game into a drinking game (like the wiki races, please play with more than one person). Highly recommend Settlers of Catan, Perfection, Monopoly, Spot It, or Cards Against Humanity because those are hype sober and that is truly the marker of a classic.
Run around naked and belt out “And I Will Always Love You”, we all know you want to.
General tips
Utilize the space you have!! In order to not feel like you’re stuck in a box, it’s important to move locations throughout the day. Were you in the kitchen all morning? Switch to your room for the afternoon. Only have one room you can move around in? Switch seats/positions in that room every so often, if you light a candle or put on some different music at every location, you can trick your brain into thinking you actually went to a dope coffee shop, when really you just moved from the futon to your Ikea chair.
Make a schedule. Planning your day out, even if your plan is to do nothing on the couch for the morning, then watch Netflix while you fold your laundry in the afternoon, is a game-changer. You feel like you have some kind of purpose and you’re also getting something done. Also, instead of just jumping randomly from thing to thing, you can actually zero in on one task because you know you’ve given yourself a specific amount of time to do it.
GET DRESSED. Staying in sweats all day sounds like a good idea but when it’s day five and you haven’t brushed your hair, it’s easy to question who you are. Put on some Lizzo, do your hair and your make-up for absolutely no one and get your day going.