09.16.17 // Change Your Mind, Not Your Body

“What would happen if I lost 10 pounds?”

“Imagine if I had a thigh gap?!”

“What would happen if I just lost some weight right between my thighs?”

“I wonder what it would be like to not have this flab?”

Let me tell you from someone that has tried to go down that path.

Losing weight is not the key to happiness, not even close. Sure, when people lose weight in our society we tend to congratulate them, but it does not equal true happiness. I lost weight and strove to keep it off because I thought that was the key to my happiness. I thought that I was insecure because of my thighs, I thought that I was rejected from that guy because of my stomach, I thought that because I was having that extra serving I was being “bad”. I felt guilty about what I ate. I felt guilty if I missed a day at the gym. My vibrant life became monotone.

When you think your life is going to be better if you lose weight, think about why you are saying that. Truly what would happen if you lost 2 pounds? 20 pounds? For me, I didn’t get happier, all I got was more obsessed with my weight. My entire life became about maintaining and refining myself. I missed dinners out with friends, coffee shop hangouts, even just hanging out with friends because I needed to make sure that I always had control over the entire situation. For me, this led to an eating disorder that completely controlled my life for the past four years. It led to hospitalizations, therapy sessions, and support groups. It led to my heart rate dropping to 38 beats per minute, to blood tests becoming second nature. I was left with nothing physically and mentally, and, surprise, I was not happier at all.

Problems aren’t in your body, they are in your mind. They are something that you have to face, no matter how uncomfortable. It’s so easy to blame your body when something goes wrong in your life, I’ve done it too much. I know what it is like to want to crawl up and hide in your room because of how you look. I know what it is like to walk down the street, see someone and say, well if I just looked like that it would be all better. But the truth is it’s not a superficial thing, those sad emotions came from another struggle in my life, something that was too hard to face. It was so hard to face that I just blamed my body on being the cause of my emotions.

At the end of the day, you are always going to be the biggest critic of your body. I could go around yelling that every single person is beautiful, which I would if you want an ego boost, but it won’t matter at all until you start believing it. If you can’t accept yourself no one else will. We are so much more stunning than we give ourselves credit for. Your body works so hard every single day to keep you alive and going, and yet we spend most of the day putting it down. Your body IS NOT to blame. It sucks, but when you face those difficult emotions/problems that have been manifesting as issues with your body, you can see that your body didn’t actually cause the problem.

We are only as happy as you allow yourself to be, and right now, we have the power to be happy every day. We don’t need to fit into that dieting trap, it won’t fix your problems, only you can by facing the deeper issues. Imagine the difference it would make if instead of complaining about our bodies all day, we all started praising them. How badass would that be to wake up in the morning and actually look in the mirror and feel good? To be with your friends and feel like the royalty you are? To yell, “we look HOT” anywhere you please at anytime you please?! The best part is, you can do that. If people judge you that is their issue to get over. Besides, think about someone who has done that before and how refreshing it was to be around them. YOU CAN DO IT TOO. Fake it until you make it.

So what is the answer to what will happen if you lose 10 pounds? I can tell you this for sure, it won’t make a fucking difference.

Kate x